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Martin’s Magnetic Attraction

Martin of Epic Fail by Amy Letts

Card Art of Martin for the WAGON Webcomic Battle collectable cardgame. Admittedly I might have gone a bit overboard on this one… fun though!

Martin is very charismatic and attracts attention wherever he goes, he also attracts trouble like flies to shit (which may explain why Amuletts hangs around with him). Nobody is quite sure why but there is no denying it!

Basically Martin reflects the luck of his player. I don’t know whether any other gaming groups have a player that the dice always seem to pick on? We do and it’s Martin. If there’s a random roll to see who a monster will attack: it’s Martin. If there’s there’s a random encounter during the night who’ll be on watch? Martin. If there’s a beautiful maiden -or ugly bugbear- who’ll win it’s heart? Fill in the blank: _ _ _ _ _ _ (Clue – it begins with ‘M’).

8 replies on “Martin’s Magnetic Attraction”

I see, going sort-of clockwise… 
A Beholder in the background, trying to get a good look. (“I can’t get a decent zap in with all these guys in the way~!”)
Probably an Orc, ready to thump Martin’s skull with his fist. (“Youse quit makings my woman look at youse, pretty-boy!”)
Two faeries playing with/in his hair. (“Whee! It smells like lavender and it’s soft as down!”)
A tentacle, presumably from some horror from the beyond. (“Iä! Iä! Martin-Shub-Niggurath!“)
A demon lady, presumably a succubus or something like it, coming up from behind. (“If I get him in an orgy with all these folks and me, I’m sure to corrupt his soul and get that promotion I’ve been after!”)
A pretty human girl cuddling up. (“Whee, a blond-haired, white horse-riding knight of my very own! I shall hug him and love him and call him Martin!”)
A green hag, cuddling up from beyond the girl. (“Heh heh heh. Welcome to my clutches, dearie. I’m sure you’ll grow to love older women, we have sooo much to teach you. Heh heh heh.”)
A bluish arm, which I am going to assume belongs to an undead of some sort. (“Much… life… Must… drain!”)
A Drow maiden looking quite put out. (“Geez, I was going to enslave him for my very own and here he is, playing around with all these people. Good thing I always have my trusty whip. Come here, boy, it’s discipline time!”)
An angry human or Dwarven man coming up to him with a pickaxe. (“I’m fed up with you taking all the wealth and women around here, boy! I’m gonna give ya what you’ve got coming!”)
A Goblin, going for the throat. (“My name is Grig, you killed my father! And my grandfather! And my great-grandfather! And my uncle! And my cousin twice removed! And my cousin thrice removed! And my cousin who moved four times to get away from you lousy adventurers! And my sister’s roommate, so now she can’t afford rent on her apartment and lives with me again! I kill you!“)
One irate Kobold. (“I don’t care who else wants to kill ‘im, just hold him down so I can get in a few good kicks before you snuff him!”)
A rapier, possibly held by an Elf or a more elegant human swordsman. (“Foul cad! Brigand! Tombraider! Thy deeds of adventure and infamy shall end here, to bolster my own legend!”)
And in closing, one werewolf with obvious intentions. (“Living meat! Kill! Eat! … Not necessarily in that order.”)

😛

If you do caption it… any chance of mentioning me as the one who provided the text? 😛 Heh heh heh.

Oh! I see now that I missed one. After the succubus, there’s a brownish arm. Hmm… A Dryad, maybe? (“Hmmm. Too meaty and wrapped in iron… Oh, well. I’ll give you a chance, boy. Come here, it’s time to plant you next to my tree! ^^”)

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