Far too many funny things happen in my D&D games than I will ever put in my comic. But that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy them. Here are a few from recent games:

“It claims not to be evil, but it’s been writing messages on the wall in blood! That’s, like, the first symptom of evil!”

“A wall attacked me! A sheet attacked me! I don’t trust anything anymore!”

DM: Are you planning to take revenge or bring him to justice?”
PLAYER 1: “Bringing him to justice would be the best kind of revenge.”
PLAYER 2: “And you get to feel smug about it.”

CAT (BAST) CLERIC: “Curiosity! My one weakness!”

MAGE: *Looking up from scrying mirror, shaking* “I saw a glowing red eye in the darkness.”
“What has a glowing red eye?”
“Cylon. Was the eye moving from side to side going vrmm vrmm vrmm?”

“PLAYER: “Where were you?”
NPC: “I was just in the bathroom.”
PLAYER: “Bathroom?! We’ve been literally everywhere in this place and THERE ARE NO BATHROOMS!”

“Fuck you ghost snake!”

DM “You cast Summon Familiar. You summon… *rolls dice* a Brownie.”
MAGE: “What’s that?”
CLERIC: “A type of cake?”
DM: “No, it’s an Elfin Woodland creature.”
CLERIC: “Aww I wanted it to be cake…”
MAGE: Stop trying to eat my familiar!”

PSIONIC: “I would like to thrust her mind.”

FIGHTER: “I’m overpowered!”
DM: “Three leeches can take you down. I don’t think you are.”

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