Pg 5: Yoru needs you

Feb03

by Amy on February 3, 2009 at 12:00 AM

Curiouser and curiouser. That’s one mysterious message, but I guess the sender thought Tinuvielle would know what it means, which apparently she does. I love how caring and sensitive Martin is here. Though obviously disappointed he just lets her go.

And the King makes another fantastic appearance! Personally I think he has one of those teleporting Thrones like the Keeper of Traken *EDIT: Okay, Whoies, it’s a wing chair* – a perfectly good security measure in a magical universe if you ask me. It’s hard to assassinate a target who can vanish at will.

Yeah, I know some of the faces are a bit dodgy – hey, I’m new at this. At least the characters are recognisable from frame to frame, quite an accomplishment for me.

↓ Transcript

TINUVIELLE: Huh?
GUARD: I apologise for the interruption. The messenger said it was urgent.
*Tinuvielle breaks the blue wax seal on the scroll and opens it. Her eyes widen in shock*
The Letter says: Come at one. Yoru needs you.
MARTIN: What's wrong?
TINUVIELLE: I have to leave immediately.
MARTIN: But they are holding a ball in our honour - we were going to dance.
TINUVIELLE: I'm sorry Martin. Yoru needs me and I have to go.
MARTIN: Of course you do.
TINUVIELLE: I had best take my leave of the King.
KING: Good gracious! You actually remembered I'm here!

Tiana

XD I'm vaguely reminded of my OWN comic here–the message being “I have need of you on Mysada”. (dies) Wow, apparently our mysterious message sending characters must have something in common! They're very to-the-point!

And, y'know what? Most comics start out a bit dodgy. I sure did! …Still am! You'll get better in a few months, just keep drawing. Okay? I know you've read some of my comic so this isn't quite spam!

I think it's funny. “You actually remembered I'm here!”

You know… he looks a lot like the Burger King guy. o_O

I like your panelling, by the way. It flows so easily from panel to panel, it's easy to read and understand what's going on. Can I be a little bit critical of your art?

1) Don't overdo the lineart in the hair. Honestly, your hair shading looks better on its own, without the black around it, and encasing it into lines isn't really improving the look, at least for the hair. Some things look better with lineart and I personally don't think hair is one of them, it's danged hard to ink hair. I think if you replaced the lines in the hair with just darker streaks of shading, it might look a little better. Because the hair shading already looks really nice as it is…

2) Eye shinies! More shiny!

I speak from personal bias when I say I like to see people play with the Photoshopping. And you have detailed shading under your lineart. Don't hold yourself back. Build on it. It's pretty and shiny.

Anyway, honestly, your people are fine. Better will only come with practice, and practice will only come with updating your webcomic. You have nothing to apologize for. Just keep at it. The panelling is smooth and understandable, it reads well enough–you provide satisfying pages that even make me snrk a bit. It's all cool. It looks fine. Just keep at it. ^_^

(snrks over the last panel again) “Good gracious!”
amuletts

Your comments aren't even remotely like spam! I am a comment whore anyway… the more, the better.
Thanks for your detailed critique, it is really appreciated. You make good points which I will be taking on board. At some point I arbitrarily decided to colour the eyes simply… I forget why. I guess I’m really cheating myself out of something that adds life and soul to a character. Doh! You’re right about the hair as well; it looks really cool at the inking stage, then I add colour and it sucks :s More planning required!
cheers!
Tiana

That was not a detail critique. >.> I was being short-winded there. I'm capable of saying quite a lot, sometimes. XD I just don't do SURPRISE HUGELY DETAILED CRIT. And I wouldn't do that to a new comic, either, because I'd rather see you keep going than getting hung up on some comment I made and going all NO UPDATES UNTIL I GET IT RIGHT and going on INFINATE HAITUS or anything like that.

Anyway, lineart and soft shading don't really go together that well, unless you're doing it 'right', which is hard. (Which is why I don't ink) I'd rather see you play with going inkless for the hair, myself. I just feel that hair is too rigid looking when confined to a few lines like you're inking it. Flowy. Etc. Flail.

And yep, eyes add life and souuuul to a character. Souuuuuuuls. (crashes into panel borders) Braaaaains.

Lineart's just hard to get right, and even harder for hair. x_x

Weekly updates. (shakes fist) Oh well.
Chronische

So. What is the king's name, and the name of his kingdom?
amuletts

You’re so thoughtful  Yes, we artists can be a sensitive bunch at times XD
I do the line art on paper and the colouring in photoshop. That might explain why they don't fit together so well. Inking is my weakest area. My Mother does it so beautifully! I wish I had inherited that talent!
I’m doing a Valentines Day Special, so there will be an extra page that week (yay) though it will not be part of the story. I might experiment with colouring it differently.
amuletts

King Geoff of the Barrier Kingdom.
Tim

Great comic! Teleporting Thrones would come in a handy!
Tiana

Thoughtful. (snrks) As I said, I'm normally very long winded. Your lineart would be better if you went over it a few times to add line varience in places.

I'm biased to my own art style when I say I like your coloring better, though. I just… you know… like… colorful stuff. Not that I don't like inking. I do! I just generally like painty stuff better! COLOR! But yeah, fitting together hand inked stuff and Photoshop color can be a bit tricky, you might find it's easier to digitally ink… okay, I hate digital ink, but you might. Who knows. Hand coloring inks just takes too long. =( Are you hand inking your speech bubbles too? (peers at them) (I thought you were digitally inking, to be honest!)

And yes, a teleporting throne would come in handy.
Lori

This is very good what you have here. An entertaining story and bautiful artwork. Very nice job.
amuletts

Yeah, the speech bubbles are hand-inked too. For me it is quicker, I'm just more confident drawing on a piece of paper.
Tracie

Yoru needs you? Who is Yoru? See, now you've sucked me in and I must read more because I am a sucker for a cryptic message.

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Pg 5: Yoru needs you

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