Pg 36: That Foul Woman
This week in Epic Fail: Dirk is horrified by the Gnome’s assumption that he is married to Amuletts and starts ranting about all her faults.
Creator’s Commentary: It was fun coming up with all those insults. And they’re true too, from a certain point of view.
DIRK: Muh-mm-mah... Married t-to...?
GNOME: I'm sorry. My mistake.
DIRK: Good God! You really thought...?!
No. No. I’m not married, particularly not to that foul woman!
GNOME: I'm sure she's really very nice.
Dirk: Hardly. She serves Loki - an evil God!
She's a perverted, lawless jezebel; a disgraceful, conscienceless agitator; an unprincipled, dissolute phony; a shameless, cozening, huckster; an ignominious, no-good streetwalker; A repugnant, depraved shyster; a destructive, amoral trickster; a lowly, impertinant dodger; a contemptible, nefarious deviant; an uncontrollable, vile delinquent; a treacherous, rotten filcher; a disreputable, lewd slattern; a shifty, two-faced racketeer; a chaotic, calamitous knave; a dirty, wanton trollop; a greedy, scheming profiteer; a lying, two-faced crook; a halmful, purposeless hellion; an impure, sinful degenerate; a cheating, swindling wrongdoer; a crazy, lawless zealot; a shady, dishonourable fraud; an ... obscene strumpet.