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Out-of-Context D&D – “The Robe of Eyes less popular cousin!”

Far too many funny things happen in my D&D games than I will ever put in my comic. But that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy them. Here are a few from recent games: 

“I seem to have a 50-foot ROBE on my character sheet.”
“Either that’s misspelt, or some weird magic robe with 50 teensy-tiny feet at the bottom.”
“The Robe of Eyes less popular cousin!”


“Where’s the fun in interrogating them if we can’t torture them a little?”


DM: “You see something big flying overhead.”
PLAYER: “Ooo! Is it a dragon?”
DM: “Big with feathers.”
PLAYER: “Ooo! Ooo! Is it Big Bird?”


“This room is filled with large ceramic pots, all broken.”
“Looks like Link’s been here.”


“You see the difference between these Deer and regular Deer is that normal Deer don’t rip off your head and shit down your neck.”


“You find two bottles of liquid, a silver mirror and four candles.”
“Was that four candles of fork handles?”


“This is our thing: Finding some irrelevant minutia [in the scenario] and making it the crux of our entire plan.”


“I have a hallucinogenic Gnome.”
“I like the idea of a hallucinogenic as opposed to a hallucinatory Gnome.”
“Don’t lick the Gnome!”


“I actually do have voices in my head. I’m not crazy.”
“Just because the voices in your head arn’t real doesn’t mean you’re not crazy.”

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