Dr. Eric Norris (Richard Hatch) is infected by an alien parasite producing a tentacled offspring which shares his DNA and embarks on a legal battle for custody over the ‘child’. An interesting and original concept full of promise but which fails to fulfil its potential.

inalienable

There’s a rumour that Director Robert Dyke kidnapped the Stars from a local Sci-Fi convention and held them at gunpoint until the filming was complete. Okay, so I made that up, but this movie is jam-packed with actors from Star Trek, Babylon 5, Stargate and Battlestar Galactica to name but a few. And, honestly, playing a game of star-spotting is probably to only way you’ll make it to the end.

Most notable is Walter Koenig who previously played Chekov from Star Trek and Bester in Babylon 5. Cast as the Villain Shilling in this his captivating performance makes an unbearable film merely unpleasant. I spent most of InAlienable fidgeting in my seat but when Koenig was on I paid attention, not because I’m a Trekkie but because he epitomises chilling, spine-tingling eeeeeevil!

walter koenig in inalienableWalter Koenig – chilling to the core

But… Oh dear! Koenig is also credited as the writer – and the only writer no less! And I have to shake my head admonishingly because it’s mainly the writing that’s at fault here. I’m not saying it’s a bad story just poorly told, and one feels that but for the addition of a co-writer this production could have been saved. ‘For want of a nail the shoe was lost; for want of a shoe the horse was lost; for want of a horse the battle was lost.’

The science in this film is very poor which would be acceptable if the characters were anything other than scientists – but they are scientists. Fortunately they’re also clairvoyant, because Eric and Amanda (Courtney Peldon) somehow realise the parasitic growth is actually a male pregnancy, despite the complete absence of evidence or logic. So they flee to a stable to be visited by three wise men who bring gifts of gold, frankincense and… oh wait, that’s the birth of Christ. So they flee to a stable where a man miraculously gives birth to a puppet. Really, that’s the real version!

inalienable alien baby that's totally not a dollIt’s so totally not a doll

It’s fair to say the special effects in InAlienable aren’t so special. Sure, the puppet’s pretty cute when it’s being operated but as soon as it’s off the table with the man crouching underneath it’s just a lifeless, glassy-eyed embarrassment. Later they switch to an actor in a suit with less convincing tentacles than plushie Cthulhu. But I digress…

The Men in Black show up and forcibly take the alien baby, now named Benjamin, to perform Terrible Experiments on, which they talk a lot about but never seem to get around to. Instead they lock him in a metal box which is evidently much too small for him despite keeping housing the box itself in a much larger room. They’re either being deliberately cruel or have had their budget cut. Benjamin becomes understandably depressed so they have to bring Eric in, who lets him out of the box, and lo and behold the little chap perks up!

marina sirtis in inalienable

Thus follows the courtroom drama/comedy (they can’t seem to decide which it is). Marina Sirtis plays the opposing Attorney Barry, who, in the absence of any factual information about Benjamin, waves his photo repeatedly at the Judge arguing that anything that ugly should stay locked up in a very small box and never see the light of day. Fortunately for her Lawyer Howard Ellis (Erick Avari) is doing an even worse job making the case for Eric Norris being the Parent, because Eric is a man and men cannot get pregnant. Amanda, as an eye-witness to the birth, and a scientist to boot, says vaguely ‘It looked like a birth’ but we never find out whether Eric grew a Vagina.

The ending is contrived, confusing and clique. My final verdict? Another ‘C’ word. Crap.


Related Links:

InAlienable on Walter Koenig’s Official Site

Liked it? Take a second to support Epic Fail on Patreon!