This Week in Epic Fail: Simone reveals that the magic key is located in Kasper’s Castle and tells the Adventurer’s about it’s history.
Creator’s Commentary: Aww, Kasper and Bianca are such a Romeo and Juliet.
EDITED 03/03/11 : I’ve changed the dialogue as per DugeonWarden‘s advice – the same information is there but it’s in a slightly more positive tone.
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2 replies on “Pg 54: Kasper & Bianca”
Kaserbianca *groan* I can’t believe you made that pun.
Interesting use of B&W to show a flashback. Makes the scene seem spookier
The but… but? doesn’t work. Not only isn’t there enough space to allow the reader to pause, but the pause makes no sense. Usually people are hesitant to say some really bad news – like the previous parties were found in the woods mutilated or the few members that returned were babbling incoherently and no one know what happened to their friends. There could be a whole bunch of reasons they never returned and yet are still alive.
There is nothing scary about a University that was abandoned. Saying “everyone’s afraid of it” seems oddly out of place without explaining why. I’m sure you’re going to get to that on the next page but it still seems odd. Maybe Dirk could say something like “I don’t understand why people think it’s haunted. Was Kasper an evil man?”
I like the more serious tone of the story; however, I hope you’ll go back to the humor once the party heads out on the adventure. It’s good to switch back and forth so things don’t get too intense or silly
I have to make bad puns. I have standards to maintain 🙂
Thanks a lot George, your feedback is very helpful. And you’re absolutely right. I think I’ll go along with your suggestons, and drop the “Everyone’s afraid of it” line. I doesn’t make sense and should probably be communicated in atmosphere when they actually reach the town rather than explicitally stated. Fortunately dialogue is one of the easiest things to change.
This is why I love making a webcomic – if I make a mistake it’s not set in stone PLUS I get advice on how to correct it!
I do prefer writing the humorous stuff and will be going back to it. In fact one of the reasons this page probably isn’t up to scratch is that I’m trying get the serious bits out the way as quickly as possible!